Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

... including one of his bandmates.

Arashi + food may be the ultimate OTP, but Arashi + animals runs a close second. In honor of flange5 ’s birthday, I dug into the archive of grainy D no Arashi footage for one of the few episodes of that program that takes all five of the guys outside the studio together. D no Arashi #38: Arashi goes to the zoo!

But of course, each episode begins with the studio scene for a little full-group interaction. And I can’t resist this, even though there’s no relation to the show’s main topic.

Normally, after Sho shouts out the title call, Ohno and Nino do a high-five. In today’s, Ohno changes this into a little exercise in grab-and-shimmy.

Which turns into a vigorous scratching of Nino’s arm?

And Nino is left mussed, while Ohno is completely undone by his own boldness.

We all know Nino doesn’t like touching unless it’s his idea – so a few minutes later, he decides to reach across the gap between the couches and shove Ohno out of the frame.

Ohno displays a new-found wariness.

How can this rift in Ohmiya be healed?!

Okay, then. Down to business. A viewer has asked the guys to document the state of a zebra’s bald skin: striped or solid?

But apparently another program has already revealed this vital biological fact. Jun looks particularly dumbfounded at the thought that some other program is spending its time on things that clearly belong only on a late-night variety show hosted by a boyband.

Yeah, well, Arashi’s going to do it anyway! Take that! They have a real live (or dead) zebra skin to shave right there in the studio!

In order to get a better sight line, Nino takes this opportunity to cross the great divide and remind Ohno that he makes all decisions about physical contact. All is well.

In case you were wondering, a zebra’s skin is solid brown. And this is the last time they are going to treat an animal so respectfully in this episode. For it’s off to the zoo to test challenging viewer queries!

My only experience of Japanese zoos comes from variety programs, particularly those which feature sparkly pop idols, so I may have a skewed perception – but it sure seems to me like Japanese zoos let the visitors do all sorts of crazy and potentially dangerous things that visitors could never get away with in American zoos. For example, in the US, we can’t feed any animals, except maybe the local, run-of-the-mill wild ducks that hang around the zoo’s pond without actually being zoo residents.

But in Japan, it’s A-okay to feed the animals.

Nino, you ate! A whole bite of carrot! &hearts

The rest of Nino’s carrot goes to another doe-eyed creature with a pretty neck.

CHALLENGE: Will a lion play with a fox-tail cat toy?

Back in the studio, Nino asserted that the lion would play if it’s Aiba. But on location, Jun’s foolish “Naruhodo” lands him the job. (Sho and I have the same teaching philosophy – any sound or movement means that student has volunteered to answer the question.)

Jun: You will pay, Sakurai. You forget that I’m currently channeling the character of a juvenile delinquent. At the very least, I will get my math teacher to kick your ass for this.

Ohno, ever the leader, expresses his faith in Jun's ability to taunt a lion: He’ll get killed!

The narrator tries to convince us that these are the same animal.

Well, at least the staff have attached the cat toy to a longer pole so the lion won’t damage the idol. Predictably, the lion (or rather, the lioness) is interested, and pretty promptly whacks the toy right off the pole.

So Sho produces a more ‘lion-sized’ toy. And the lioness likes that one too.

The reactions here are awesome. Jun’s fascinated, Sho gapes in wonderment, and Ohno is comically anxious about the whole thing.

And when the male takes an interest, Sho and Ohno are outta there!

The lion wins. And Jun is a huge dork. &hearts

Another fun fact: lions like to roll in elephant dung.

Drunk on pachyderm poop.

CHALLENGE: Given five Johnnys on a location shoot, can they refrain from silly posing when they have no lines to speak?

Apparently not all five. Very pretty, Nino. Love the way Ohno’s hands go right to his hips while Aiba studiously ignores the whole thing and Sho concentrates on his card.

CHALLENGE: Will a horse chase after a carrot dangled in front of it?

Because it’s Arashi, the horse is a Shetland pony. A real horse just wouldn’t provide the same let-down, after all.

First they test whether the pony likes carrots. And then, on to the actual pony teasing!

...which fails, because apparently the pony likes Ohno more than the carrot. At first Ohno seems offended by this!

But then he forgives the pony, since it’s cute.

CHALLENGE: Will a pony chase after an Ohno dangled in front of it?

Yes. Ponies are pretty intelligent animals, after all.

This whole experiment is also punctuated by Ohno’s high-pitched laughter. Win.

CHALLENGE: Can Arashi stand their ground in the face of a large reptile?

Again, Ohno displays a disappointing absence of balls.

Okay, not just Ohno.

More awesome, the zookeeper chases them with the snake. I like this guy.

And Sho manages to leap over the tire-thing without breaking an ankle!

Nino thinks the zookeeper looks like a pervert. I think Nino has seen too many of that kind of anime.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Ohno wonders how much the snake weighs – and immediately tries to withdraw his question when the keeper demonstrates a penchant for hands-on teaching.

I suppose that Ohno might be cringing this much because it’s tough to support half of one’s own body weight on one’s shoulders. Or maybe he’s just a huge sissy. Man up, Ohno!

Seriously, these boys are ridiculously squeamish in the face of critters. I can’t blame them for freaking out about cave crickets (D no Arashi #64) or an over-stimulated lion sticking its paws out of the cage, but a well-fed and sleepy python is not a danger, sweeties. I blame it on their being raised in the city, where they haven’t had as many opportunities to handle garter snakes and praying mantises all summer.

Oh dear, the snake loves Ohno as much as the pony did! He really does emit some kind of pheromones!

CHALLENGE: Can a snake move on a slick surface?


CHALLENGE: Can Aiba and Ohno manage not to bust a gut while watching a snake try to move on a slick surface?

Well, they survive, but it’s a near thing.

CHALLENGE: What’s the smallest thing an elephant can pick up with its trunk?


Okay, fine, Aiba. I guess that banana is a little smaller than Nino.

They all imitate the movement of the elephant’s trunk – and as usual, half of them are out of sync. &hearts

CHALLENGE: Will an elephant eat the ‘PIKA**NCHI Double’ single?

Someone at JE sure comes up with imaginative promotional events.

But a shelled peanut is even smaller than a CD or a Nino, says Aiba!

Woah! Sho finally does something!

And screeches like a banshee.

I like the way he won’t let his elephant-defiled hand touch the program’s suit.

Sho urges them all to try it, saying they will ‘turn into Aiba.’ (I guess he was already a regular on Shimura Doubutsuen by this point.)


Sho, still trying to put the experience into words, now ventures that it ‘feels like an old man.’ I don’t even want to know what he’s referring to.



And finally, Aiba fulfills every boy’s dream! Before this became an everyday kind of thing for him.

And since it’s Aiba, he ends up facing backwards, giggling madly. &hearts

On the way out, the boys pause next to an innocuous fence – but this fence hides a sinister secret! It’s another animal that loves Ohno!

And it thinks Aiba’s hair is pretty great, too.

Man down!

Off screen, from Jun: ‘Is the camera running?’ Feel the love!

I think we should end with this shot of Aiba's ass.

So what have we learned today?
    1. Lions will play with cat toys and elephant poop.
    2. Shetland ponies are cute.
    3. Big snakes are scary, but it’s okay to tease little ones.
    4. Elephants feel like old men.
    5. Animals love them some Ohno.
    6. Arashi will always be amused by each other’s embarrassment or pain, especially on camera.

Well, Flange, I had hoped there would be more action from Aiba and Sho here, but it somehow turned out to be a very Ohno-heavy episode. OTL

Have a wonderful birthday with your nice Boy, your affectionate animal, and whatever unusual foodstuffs you can come up with. And don’t forget the sequins.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 12th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
I love this episode&hearts I'm actually mentioning it in my increasingly monstrous century post (which, in the true spirit of Arashi, now looks like it will be a 101st post, because I didn't take into account the thank you post to awesome people with their birthday wishes and gifts &hearts

I'm in my office hours doing this instead of the Parliament of Fowls, which I will now always associate with W&L :P Pretentious gits :P

Anyway, students are supposed to meet with me to discuss their presentations on Wednesday, but neither has shown up and I suspect they didn't think that perhaps if they aren't going to come during posted office hours maybe they should tell me. I kind of want to leave at 11 (when OH end) and leave a note saying to email me if they need me, because seriously. Even if it weren't my birthday, wth?

Maybe I'll stay until 1 and prep for the next two days, although I have to say that the sonnets are kind of an easy teach: Walk them through structure, give them a few pointers and pick some fun ones ^_^ I may put them into groups, too . . .

Ahem. Post of awesomeness, which was a wonderful gift&hearts I was chortling in my office, with an open door of course, since it's office hours.

And this is the last time they are going to treat an animal so respectfully in this episode.

This is so remarkably true. At least Aiba doesn't directly compare the skin of an intelligent primate with his balls, though perhaps, as you hint, Sho comes close *__*

Also, Arashi + snakes will never n ot be hilarious--I love Aiba + snakes&hearts

Also, I meant to comment on Ohno/Nino molestation: so rare, and thus so precious. Also, so unbelievably cute.

And Ohno/Aiba giggle fits&eharts I know that they're not at all a popular pairing, and I wouln't slash them really, but they make such good crack up buddies ^_^

Is it just me, or is Aiba's ass a little bit of a camera whore? *thinks of AnS 13 &14, concert mishaps, Aiba's one-shot gag, etc*

But really, Arashi + animals is pure awesome, and you're right--the best D no Arashi episodes are when they're all together&hearts

Thank you!

Oh, and I may call you later to discuss post stuff ^_^
Oct. 12th, 2009 06:47 pm (UTC)
At least Aiba doesn't directly compare the skin of an intelligent primate with his balls

Oh, Aiba. But really, it makes good sense to compare an unknown to a known, if you want anyone to understand what the unfamiliar thing is like -- and Aiba's relatively specific about it in that TSD ep (this is me maintaining my position on Aiba's genius). Like I said, though, I really don't want to know what part of an old man Sho thinks the elephant trunk feels like (though of course I was having flashbacks of Takahata Atsuko and the de-slimed octopus tentacles). Or maybe it's more that I don't want to know how he knows what an old man's old-man-parts feel like. Because I really don't want to think that Johnny molests all the pretty boys he collects.

they make such good crack up buddies

Totally! I'm sure the others must have been laughing plenty during the episode, but Ohno and Aiba always drowned them out. With help from some of the staff, who were also cracking up most of the time. It made me want to rewatch the episode where Ohno and Jun take Meguro-san to the amusement park, because Ohno is just in hysterics throughout the entire thing, and it's heartbreakingly adorable. &hearts

my increasingly monstrous century post (which, in the true spirit of Arashi, now looks like it will be a 101st post

Well, Mago Mago establishes a precedent for celebrating episode 101 -- though I guess it's different when you actually know when the 100th is/was. You'd be following in the footsteps of greatness. Make sure you wear your shiniest garden-hose-green suit while writing the post.

I hope you went home by now, since it is both after 11 and after 1. I, however, am doomed to several more hours of paper-marking. I am amazed at how poorly some of these kids are doing -- like not even addressing both terms in the assignment question! Meh. Not my fault they can't pay attention (but damn, kid, you sit in the front row!). Anyway, I wouldn't count on finding me at home before 8 or so. Which is also to say, I will not answer the cell phone if I'm working because I really must get these mo-fos done with.

Break is over.
Oct. 12th, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
but really, it makes good sense to compare an unknown to a known, if you want anyone to understand what the unfamiliar thing is like

This is true ^^" It was just so . . . Aiba, I guess, to choose that known.
As for the old man parts *___* We're both thinking about the same fic, I think >_<;;

I did go home at noon when the student emailed me a) to ask if I could hang around until 5om to meet with her (hell, no) and now I have gotten home and just had lunch. I have heard about today's Shukudai, which not only had Inoue Mao, but more importantly, Aiba-created ice creams, including the necessary fish + ice cream combi, and of course, Mabo tofu icecream&hearts (among others). Once I see links, I'm watching immediately.

I may try calling you tonight . . . but damn. Grading sounds wretched >_<;; I am immersing myself in rainbows instead. But I have some post-related stuff to ask you in the future ^_^
Oct. 13th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)
Like I say, Aiba is a genius.

And let's not think so much about that fic or any actual law suits that may have been filed.

I am home and downloading ANS. Not that I'm done working. Still have to write 'did not complete assignment' on the too-short papers I left in my office and staple all the charts onto them all. And come up with lessons for Thursday's classes and also with assignments for the next article and paper. What's worse, I'm almost out of the medieval portion of my survey and will not be able to phone it in so easily.
Oct. 13th, 2009 03:21 pm (UTC)
What's worse, I'm almost out of the medieval portion of my survey and will not be able to phone it in so easily.

Yep. I just hit that stage on Thursday, but at least sonnets, which is what I mostly start with on the Ren side, are mostly pretty easy to teach because you can focus on the relationship of form and content and take it one poem at a time.

I need to get more work done, though. Still haven't sent that stupid article off. Also, need to post on birthday stuff and also try to get a couple of the mini posts set aside. This means episode watching ^_^ A bright side, I guess ^^
Oct. 12th, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha this is amazing! Oh, Arashi. XD I felt bad for the snake on the slippery surface though, poor guy was freakin out.
Oct. 12th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Poor snake! I also felt bad when they put the same snake in a narrow plastic tube -- it made it through, but it was really struggling. (Not much funny to say about that, though, so I cut it from an already overlong post).

Oct. 12th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Yeah! ): But then again, Arashi gets put through a lot of crazy shit too hahaha~

*waves!* :D
Oct. 13th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC)
But not skinny plastic tubes...

Okay, now I kind of want Arashi in some kind of Double Dare-esque obstacle course involving lots of fake slime and whipped cream (do you remember Double Dare, or was it over before you were watching TV?). I have the impression from somewhere that VS Arashi will have new games for golden time, so I will keep hoping for this.
Oct. 13th, 2009 01:33 am (UTC)
Ahh~ never heard of Double Dare. Ahaha but that sounds hilarious and awesome. Hopefully it happens :P
Oct. 13th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Found a clip from "Family Double Dare" (this episode with celebrity guests, for some reason. The original version had teams of two kids, ususally siblings, I think. During the game, they had trivia questions and messy challenges, and then at the end there was the obstacle course, which you can see here. It was hugely stupid, but entertaining nonetheless.

They're actually disappointingly tidy here. The kids-only version was more messy.
Oct. 13th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Ahaha, that's crazy stuff~
Oct. 13th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
*sneaks in*

Wow, the Sundae Slide was much less awesome with adults D: They used to use a really wide slide with lots of whipped cream and mounds of stuff all over it-people would end up sideways by the end. Fail, DD, fail.

Also . . . I had completely repressed that clothes were that hideous *__*

ah, carefully revised memories . . .

Also, poor Weird Al. He was and is too good for that show . . .
Jan. 10th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
wow i love this episode so much
just watching it now XD
and when they're being chased by zookeeper and his snake lol it's really cute XD
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )